p0rn and my maaaaaaaan!

hi hun, whacha doing?

I'm calling my cousin Ramon so we can go to the strip club.

what?

I'm playing GTA and I just got done having sex so now i'm calling my cousin Ramon so we can go to the strip club!

you're ... playing.. video game p0rn?

no! i'm experiencing life as a criminal without actually becoming a real criminal, honey.

ooh. ok, call me when you're done.

and then later, he texts me a video of his game- his character getting a lap dance by some skeezy in a thong and skimpy bra, bending over in front of his face and slapping her ass. sweeeet. interactive video game p0rn. no wonder he's been staying home every night this week! :D

on Sunday, before the release of GTA in stores, thk and I went to church with his parents and then ran some errands. One of our stops included getting gas, rice, and soft serve at Costco.

Costco + Sunday afternoon + Puente Hills area = HELL.

So thk is waiting in line for grub and I'm hanging out with his folks at one of the outside tables. As I go to sit down, a rude ass lady gruffs "EXCUSE ME!" as her, her husband, and her cart full of shit tries to squeeze by me. I moved, immediately. THEN!! THEN!! the skeezey old asian biznatch said "Yeah, you better move your fat ass!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was shocked! first, her ass was a lot larger than mine. second, I was standing there with thk's parents so i had to supress my first reaction of punching her in her vagina. thk walked up right at that moment and before i had a chance to to say anything, he saw my shocked face and asked what happened.

that... that lady totally was so rude to me!

why?

she said excuse me so i moved and then she said "YEAH, you better move your fat ass!" to me!!

SHE DID? you sure?

yes! what the hell!

and before I knew it, thk had turned on his heels and was jogging towards the lady, her cart, and her husband half way down the street.

dun. dun. duuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!

there was a lot of hand gesturing, shrugging of shoulders, and then I saw thk kind of punk her and then she yelled, "OH YEAH! FUCK YOU! YOU SHUT FUCKING UP!*" to thk as he walked nonchalantly back to us. The lady's husband tugged at her arm and started steering their cart to their car.

what the heck was that?!

I wasn't going to let her be mean to you.

what happened? what did she say?

I asked her if she was rude to you and she denied it. I told her that wasn't what you told me, and that she needs to learn how to be more respectful because there wasn't any reason to be rude. Then she started to cuss so I told her "You don't really want to be hit right now!**"

what! oh my gawd, honey!

Then her husband told her to walk away and she kept cussing so I told her- "I don't see him saying anything ...at least my wife has a husband that's willing to stand up for her... what about you?"

!!

then I came back here and she was yelling at me and at her husband for not saying anything to me!

hahhaa!!

BEST.COSTCO.STORY.EVER. seriously, who does that?

later, in the car, thk says to me- hun, we're getting married! if someone is rude to you, I'll fight your fight.

awwwwwwwwwwww. <3 isn't he just the sweetest, ghetto-est, loveliest man ever? :D  

*not a typo. she yelled "you shut fucking up!" because she was an older fobby taiwanese chick. biznatch!

**thk is the most nonviolent person you'll ever meet. he's super gentle and kind and sweet and well-mannered and so this statement is totally out of character and he would never hit a lady. or a man. ok, maybe a man, but never a woman even if she was being a total bitch.