Kylie has been FILLING her diapers with shit, even though I change her every 1.5 hours or so. sheesh.
A little bit ago, I was cleaning a crapload of poop from her butt cheeks when she started to wiggle and cry. I got all flustered and held her two wiggling legs up while looking for a pacifier with the other hand. I found one, popped it in her mouth, and then realized that there was a tiny bit of yellow seedy (breast milk poop is yellow and seedy looking) stuff on the pacifier. Then I looked at my hand and realized there was poop on my hand. I yanked the pacifier out of her mouth and um... no poop ON the nipple but there was a bit around the nipple.
oh. good. LORD!
Seriously, did I just stick a poopy pacifier into my baby's mouth? yes, yes I did.
Mother of the Year!
Wednesday, June 4th, 10:20pm: the time my water broke
1.5: dilation at admittance
5.5: weeks early Kylie tried to make her escape
4: days spent on bedrest at the hospital
6: lbs I gained due to antibiotics and IV fluids pumped continuously
2: pm Saturday, started pitocin, dilation: 2
7: hours it took for me to get from 2 to 4
1: number of times I yelled at THK for drinking water in front of me. and by yell, I mean cussed out.
1: # of contractions that didn't hurt from the IV pain med they offered me
5: minutes it was from the time I got the IV pain med administered and the time I asked for my epidural
5: minutes it took for the anesthesiologist to arrive
4: number of contractions I got while trying to "STAY STILL!!" for my epidural
1:
number of bitchy anesthesiologists that gave me total attitude for
being all woozy from the IV pain meds and not being able to follow her
directions of scooting back, but not that back, no- more back, NOT THAT
BACK! on the table
2: number of hours I napped the minute the epidural took effect
25: number of minutes I spent in active labor once I was fully dilated
5: number of pushes, in sets of 3, before Kylie came out
3: number of NICU doctors on hand
5: weeks early Kylie was at time of birth
2: number of times I asked THK if I had pooped on the table during labor, a minute after the baby was out
2: number of times THK probably lied to me, god bless his soul, about the above
2: degree tears
2: number of stitches I got
6lbs 2oz: lbs Kylie was at birth
5: additional days spent in the hospital after birth
3: days Kylie spent in NICU
2: days Kylie spent in a phototherapy incubator for hyperbilirubinemia
1: awesome pair of sunglasses Kylie got to wear while tanning
5lbs 6oz: lbs Kylie was at discharge
4: hours of sleep I got last night, in 30-45 minute increments.
15: minutes I spent staring at the criss cross of stretch marks that showed up across my stomach this morning
20: minutes I spent crying about said stretch marks
was it worth it?
hell yeah.
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